An afternoon to remember

I was brave the other afternoon, I took six kids ice skating, by myself.
Only two of the kids, my son and his friend, and myself had ever been ice skating. The three of us had each been one time! The boys did great! You would think that they had been much more than just once and they helped the girls, in a patient, kind manner. It was amazing, everything was in harmony. There was no fighting and everyone had a great time.
I didn't fall and I was able to help the littlest ones when they wanted it. Mostly though they were brave and wanted to do it on their own! By the end they hardly needed any help at all.
My youngest had been asking me for weeks to take her ice skating, I don't know where she came up with that idea, so I thought what the hay. My son and oldest daughter each brought a friend and we had the best afternoon ever.

Happy New Year!!!

Christmas

This year I got more meaningful gifts and it was the best!!
I'll start with the gift that my parents got me. They bought me a very soft blanket to curl up in when I am sick. The funny thing was is that I was sick when they gave it to me and have been curled up in it ever since.
My best friend gave me a candel holder with a candel inside. The holder is one leaf on top of another. She said that she is the top leaf and I am the bottom because I catch her when she falls.
I can't get that out of my head. It is the nicest thing that any of my friends have ever said to me.
My husband bought me a diamond ring, much larger than I have EVER had. He said that we didn't have much money when we got married and we are doing better, so he wanted to up grade. He also said that I have done so much for the family and for him, he just wanted to show mw how much he loved me. I cried and they have it on tape. POOPHEADS! LOL
This is a christmas that I will remember forever, not for the gifts that I got but for the people that I have.

Gingerbreadmen, dogs and more...

I have never made my own gingerbread men from scratch before. I thought it would be fun if we did it this year. HA! Next time I think doing something from scratch is going to be fun talk me out of it. First I couldn't find all the stuff I needed, thank god my husband is more resourceful than I. Then I lost the receipe that I wanted to use. So I had to find a new one. There are so many DIFFERENT ones out there, I just picked one and ran with it. Now the Gingerbread is so dry that it is crumpling apart while I am trying to wrap it to put it in the fridge. Days later ( didn't have time to finish that night) still really dry. Add some water, a little sticky, add flour to the rolling pin, roll out and looks good ! Now we need to see how it tastes.
My dog has always been smart,however every thing I have ever heard about dogs is that they can not reason. My husband built a door so that the dog wouln't go in the basement to poop. He made it "doggie' proof so that the door had to pulled open instead of pushed. So my dog opened it with his teeth. He bit the top of this little door and used his paw to hold it open and then went down stairs to take a LARGE poop. HE is way to smart!!

CRAZY WEATHER

Yesterday it began to snow big flakes. It was so pretty... then it rained and all the pretty snow went away ( all in the same day). Today the snow is back and we are suppose to get a few inches oh goodie. To watch the kids yesterday sliding down the slope in the neighbors back yard brought back fond memories. I like the snow only around CHristmas and then it can go away for another year.
Around here things are getting so festive. Next week we will bake our cookies. This year we are going to try to make ginger bread men. I'm excited about that. We will do our usal giveing cut out cookies to the elderly neighbors and leaving some for some of our other neighbors. The kids really enjoy that part. AAHHHHH Christmas as long as you don't let the shopping and all get to you, this time of year is GREAT!

Just Yesterday

Wasn't just yesterday that my parents were getting us kids ready to go to my choir concert? It sure does seem that way. Tonight we are getting ready to go to my oldest daughters concert and for a change we are ahead of schedule. It was always cold and icy for my Christmas concerts, tonight it is just wet and muddy. My grandma always tried her best to come unless the weather was bad. That is one thing my kids miss out on is their grandparents coming. Not my parents fault, they try to make it when they have off and the weather is good. However, their one grandfather lives here and never goes to anything they have. Their other grandma has disconnected herself from the family so she is always a no show. I feel bad because we live far enough a way from my parents that they can't always make it. Well, no use in dwelling on it. I am going to record the concert for them instead.

No real title

I'm glad my life is less hectic than my friends life is. She could truely have her own soap opera and have plenty of material. I'm telling you she could be rich, just by being her.
I'm really happy with the way my life turned out. My life used to be just as dramatic, everyday was a struggle to survive. When you are just living to survive then that is what you base all of your desicions on. Those desecions usally aren't the best, but it is all you can do at the time. I really feel for those trying to find their way. I guess that is why I helped create SuperMom. I know first hand that when you are sick/ on bed rest and have little kids with no one to help life really gets you down. I just want to give people resources to help them, help themselves. Getting well quickly will help epople do this faster and give them confidence that life doesn't suck so bad. Still working out the smaller details but in a few months we should be up and running!
I'm just concentrating hard on my next nursing job, I really have the jitters over this. TTFN.








-+

NERVOUS

When I graduated Nursing School I was terrified to work in a Nursing Home or a Hospital. There are so many people that you have to pass meds. too, you have to be on top of your game at all times. I am not always at top game and I am scared of loosing my license, that I just got.
Now I am taking the leap. I am going to work for agency so I will work in many different Nursing Homes ( it pays better and you get to pick your own hours). I know I am going to have to take it slow but , god, please don't let state come in until I get my bearings. PLEASE!!! I might just pass out if they do, out of shear terror! Wish me the best.

No answers

I don't have the answers for today
I couldn't tell what the passing night will bring
Not sure what will come with the rise of the sun
Or the fall of the snow
I do know that I am here...
My ears open ,
my heart ready,
When you are...
I'll be here.

Another Long Day

I accompanied a friend to the court house today and held her hand. I sat there all day with her and held my breath with her when the judge ruled. Things went pretty well for her legally, but emotionally she is wreck. I feel for her, there is not an easy answer. The man in her life won't help himself, which would make every one's life involved easier. No he would rather just keep telling her that she is the crazy one. Boy, that tune sounds familiar. Don't you wish you had a magic wand to help other peoples pain go away?
Back at the Homestead, you can tell my one child is almost a teenager, because she sure is starting to act like one. She thinks that I am telling on her when I inform her dad about her breaking the rules. I think I felt the same way as a kid. Wasn't good enough that one parent knew? I guess that it is our job to communicate with each other about what our kids are up to, especially since we live in the same house.

I quit

I quit my job. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I pretty much had to. So now I am quickly looking for a new one. In the time I am looking I will focus on my SuperMom business. Hopefully we can get the ball rolling soon. There is still much to do.
It is another busy wed. Basketball,swimteam,Dr's appt. all tonight. Luckily, my son has a ride to swim practice. Thank goodness for other kind parents. Oh, snap, I think it is my turn to take them, maybe I can pick them up instead.
I'm pretty down, I'd like to crawl in a hole. I guess that is one good thing about having a busy life, you don't have time to hide. Infact, I am thankful ( most of the time ) for being so busy. I don't have time to let things eat at me. Although, on the down side, I have less time to solve things also. Guess I'll have plenty of time for a while.

ITs SUNDAY

I look forward to sundays, most of the time. It is my lounge, sleep as late as you want day. Lately on Sat. we have been getting up super early for the kids' sports. But, Sunday's are my lazy day.

I have been thinking back on St. Thomas and some about California. I reaaly liked the weather and scenery in St. THomas and I really liked the weather in California, but here it is pretty and there is a lot to do. In California everything seemed to be the color of sand, and in St.Thomas there was limited amount of things to do. No I think I will live here and just visit those places, in my mind and sometimes in person.

A little more on St. Thomas

The water was so clear that anywhere you went you could see the bottom and all the fish swimming by. The only big shock was how salty the water tasted when I got some in my mouth. At night I watched a sand crab dig its way out and run across the cooling sand. All your worries just dissapear here.

St. Thomas Pics. III

The top pic. is one of the HUGE cruise liners that stopped in St. Thomas.

More St. Thomas

The swim meet

I know I promised pics. everyday, but the kids have projects to do for school so the computer has been tied up at home.
I thought that I would tell you about the swim meet last Sat.
My son is on the swim team, this is his first year. This was his first swim meet. We drove about 30 miles at 6:30 am to get to this place. Warm ups were at 7:30am and then he sat around and waited for about an hour before he was up. I didn't know that I was suppose to pick his events ahead of time so the coaches picked them for him. He had his worst two events. Freestyle back stroke was first. He was timed the Friday before at 2.40 mins. My son says to me , Mom, what if people make fun of me because I come in last?' I said "Honey, someone has to come in last. I'll Be proud if you try real hard and still come in last." That seemed ok with him. He was up, my knees start knocking, he did real well even though he came in last, he shaved over 1 min. off his time! I was proud. Now we wait about two hours before he is up again. Freestyle front stroke. At the start he enters the water wrong, there go the goggles down around his neck. OOOH, I say to my self there goes the whole race. But, no, not my boy he just keeps going. Although he lost again, he shaved over 25 secs. off his orginal time. I was yelling "keep going Bud, you are going to still beat your time" and by the end of the race everyone in the stands was cheering for him. I almost cried when he finished. He comes up in the bleechers and says "Everyone was cheering for me. Why they don't even know me". I told him that everyone was proud because he kept going even with his goggles off and he beamed. It was a really great day for the two of us.

St. Thomas

Away for a awhile

I will be away for a bit on vaction/delayed honeymoon. I hope to post pics when I come back. See you all soon! Take care.

Depression swept away

My depression ha been sewpt away by all good things that has come my way. We bailed my doggie out of jail with no extra fines. I passed my nursing boards! My husband and I are going on vacation in 2 days!! The kids are doing well and I have pushed the nasty C word to the back of my mind until til my next dr's appt.
When I return I will be as busy as ever but, suddenly that doesn't bother me like it did just days before. suddenly all bad stuff seems so small.
My husband asked me if I wanted to go for my RN now. I told him not any time soon!! I don't want another year of that kind of stress for quite a while. I want everyone to relax, play sports and just have fun being a kid. We all need a break from nursing school. If I don't ever get my RN no big deal. I made it this far and that is good enough for me.

To no one really

My depression has set in full force. I can hardly move today, it has been getting worse by leaps and bounds every day and I have tried to ignore it. Today was just the straw that broke the camels back. This morning it was cold and I didn' t want to go out to hook the dog up. I thought that because it was cold he would come right back in. No, not this morning he took off and it is hard to find a black dog in the dark. I had to leave for my exam earlier than usual so I couldn't spend much time looking for him any way. So the pound picked him up. The only reasaon we know this is because some nice lady called to let us know. She would have had to get a hold of his collar some how,who knows. We didn't get the message until after we got home from work @ 4. The lady who called didn't return our call until 4:30 and then my husband called the pound to let them know we were on our way. By the time he got there, no one was there. So now my poor (bad) dog has to spend the night in doggie jail. I don't know what their hours are but I do know that he has to get out tomarrow. Guess who has to work. Guess who has to take more time out of work to get her dog out of jail. I have taken so much time out of work, if it was anyother job they would have fired me. I know why moms with more than one child stay home. They have to,for more reasons then what I can list on here. I just may take my nursing degree and sit on it. I probely failed the exam anyhow. One step ahead and ten back.

My Mom

My mom and I haven't always seen eye to eye. I have let her down, embarassed her, pissed her off andworried her to peices. I've made her cry and wonder what she did wrong ( i'm sure).
Yet, my mom has always been there for me when the chips were down and she gave me a good shove when I really needed it. My mom tought me to rely on my self and how to be strong. My mom has always been my cheerleader even if she wasn't in sight. I never give my mom enough creidt. She has been a great mom and I love her dearly. I am proud that she is my mom. She is so creative and great with words. She has a good heart but when she is mad at you look out! I miss her even though she is only a call away. I hope that I can be half the person that she is.

Poll closed moving on

My state test is coming up so I will be too busy studying to write. Stay warm everyone!!!

Check it out

Check out my poll below!!!

Too Busy

I am just too busy to keep up on everything. I have been studying for my boards, taking kids to basketball practice, swim practice,school dances and so on. I turned 30, I can say that now without feeling sick. I'm trying to start a new business and still working at my reg. job. Really, I am having a good time. I enjoy staying busy, it keeps my mind from wandering away. In Nov. my husband and I are getting away for a few days. We are going to the Virgin Islands! I am so excited. I have no idea what to expect!! I know we are going to try to go scuba diving. I hope I get over the fact I hate water that is over my head. Don't get me wrong I can swim, I just don't like water over my head. Well, I hope that I can fill everyone in more later. TTFN!

The what if game

Today I am playing the what if game with myself, I know it is a bad game. Sometimes I wish I could peak into the future so I know the consequences of my actions before I do them. I am afraid of what I have done will come back and haunt me in the form of my teenage daughter.
What if I made all the wrong decisions and they don't show up until it is too late. What if she makes all the same misatakes I did. All I can do is hope that I raised her well and the mistakes I made won't be hers too.

not ready

I don't think I am ever going to ready to take this state nursing exam. I still don't feel that I know enough. I don't use MOST of it working so I am not in constant practice and the simple things that I should be remembering I forget and remember when it is too late. I feel like such a bad nurse. Somedays I wonder why I wanted this career, then I remember and feel bad because I have no true direction. True, I am helping people remain independant but, they don't want to help themselves. Here's a quick tip: If you want to stay in your home except the help that is coming in. Otherwise, there may be no other chpice then to be put into a home. On the other hand if you are the help respect the wishes of those you are helping as long as they remain safe and clean. If they don't want to give you something of theirs don't say " why do you need it?" Frankly it doesn't matter.
well, that is the bitch of the day. I just don't feel that I am doing anyone much good right now.

Things I won't miss about summer

• Things I won't miss about summer when it has gone...

• bees
• masquitos
• fleas
• sweat

I think those are the only things that I won't miss....I'm going to miss summer...

Chomping at the bit

I am sitting here practically grinding my teeth because I am bored and angry. I am so tired of the shit and I need an outlet. I just may take my daughter bike riding with me later. That way maybe I can unwind some. I have been giving a lot of my self to everyone but me and I think it is time to give something back to my self. Although sitting here thinking about it is giving me a headach and I just got over a two day migrain. I;m going to be even more upset if I don't get out because of my head.GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Soap opera/ bad movie work day

First off I get a phone call from the office, while on the way to one of my clients house, saying that I may not be able to get to the office because the streets are closed. It had been raining really hard the night before and the streets in the town the office was in, along with several other towns were flooded. This is not good! I have a chocolate cake on the floor of my car because we are celebrating the birthday of our co-boss.

I think about this for the entire time that I am at my clients house along with the fact that I know the rest of my clients for the day, I won't be able to get too due to road closures. I take the chance and go to the office. Luckily some of the water has receded and I can get as far as the office, but no where else.

We celebrate my co-bosses birthday at lunch and we are laughing and having a good ol' time. After, I go back to my desk thinking now what am I going to do I have finished the rest of my work here. My phone rings, it is my husband. While talking to him I hear commotion in the outer office about news of a tornado watch. Now I am worried because I know my husband is out in it. I tell him to call the kids and then the lights at work go out. Just as I get off the phone with him we are told that we need to go to the basement. I tell my boss that I am going home to my kids ( and the babysitter who is my best friends kid). My co-boss tells me no not with the tornado watch being out it is better if I stay. On our way downstairs I look and the downstairs carpet is wet. Must be the drain outside is plugged. Someone opens the door to check and a river of water comes down the stairs. That's not good! I don't want to drown at work and who knows how long we are going to have to stay downstairs, can't go back up because of tornado watch hummmm. Some women vouenteered to go out and unplug the drain because they didn't like the idea of dying at work either. We cleaned up the water best we could with no electric and moved boxes to higher ground. Then we decied that we were going to try to make it home. THere was one road open going the opposite way of the way I needed to go so I asked a guy what I should do to get to where I needed to go. HE said go to the light and make a u turn and head toward the city. So that is what I did and I got home ok. When my husband got home he told me that the building he had called me from, the wind had ripped it's door off. Also wind did damage to a building two doors down from where he was. The kids were fine, nothing happened around where they were, just rain. Oh, what a day.

Room to bitch

This is the only place I get to vent. No one else really wants to hear my pettieness. I am just irritated. I want to buy a house more than anything and my husband is finding more ways to spend our money. We have talked about it before but it just doesn't seem to stick. I swear he can't stay away from anything that is buy now pay later. We got rid of all our creidit cards only for him to use what I call the invisable credit card. Where you buy stuff now and pay later with interest without having the plasic. Then he wants to do this and that... I want to do stuff to and I want things but we don't have the cash to pay for it so I don't get it. The more I think about it the angier I get. I had a certain amount of money that I wanted to put away every pay so that we coukd buy a house sooner rather than later. But right now it looks like later. I am almost 30 for god's sake! I can't talk about it any more cause my feathers are ruffled.

our day trip

Yesterday we took the kids to an amusment park. In the morning the weather looked pretty miserable but, we took the chance anyway. As we were packing the van our dog jumps in and sits down. He is ready to go! He was so disappointed when we told him to get out. I told my husband that he probley thought he was being punished.
My soon to be 6 yr. old is pretty fearless. The greater the challenge the more she loves it! My soon to be 8 yr. old is afraid of heights. Once she does the high ride one time she is ok though. My older two will pretty much go on anything, espeically my son. My oldest daughter is sometimes reluctant but she will go. Me well, I can't do anything that spins in a lot of circles. When I was a kid I could but not any more! We got back around 1 am. It was worth the trip!

The Job

I am not so sure that I really like my job. It is a lot of paper work and doing blood pressures. Although I am improving the lives of some by getting them services that are needed, my job isn't that exciting. Sure the hours are perfect but I don't know, there isn't any luster. I think maybe a year of this and I may want to do more with people who are homebound with wounds. That would be cool. I'd get to see really neat things there. I don't see the point in being a Rn if they have more paper work than what I do now! I only do half of what is required by the state and county billing does the rest. Oh, well, it is a good start at any rate.

Long story short

So yes yahoo map does suck even more than map quest. Ok way more than Map Quest. It misses like three streets that you are suppose to turn onto say nothing about the street name changes even though you haven't changes streets. Good thing I have my Human GPS because I would have spent all night looking for this clients house. Ofcoarse by the time I got there she wasn't home so I had to go back the next day. Atleast I knew how to get there.!

5yr old Girls

If you have a weak stoamch you may want to move on to another blog.

I don't understand my 5 yr. old. The cat was killing a baby bird and my 5 yr old daughter is yelling at the the cat to leave it a lone. I tell her to let the cat have it, it is too injured and going to die anyway. I imagaine that the cat killed the bird and then my daughter kept yelling at it so she left. The next thing I know my 5 yr. old daughter is bring the dead bird into the house. Not because she wants me to see it or fix it, no because she just wants to carry it around and gross out her sister. Doesn't she get that this is the same bird that she didn't want the cat to kill or doesn't it matter now because it is already dead? Why isn't she mourning it like I would have been when I was Five? I just don't understand this. Should I be concerned that she isn't? Well, she was just not now that it is dead. Why? HMMMMM...

Map Quest

I want to know why the people who put directions on Map Quest don't know their right from left. You would think that would be a requirement to know that kind of stuff when your job is giving directions. This is not the first time that this has happened to me. This is like the 3rd. Now I don't use map quest that often so it makes me wounder how many of the directions are misgiven. It really busts my6 buttons though when I have to go 5 miles to just turn aorund because the computer told me the wrong way. Well now I know which way to go. Next time I will go right and not left. But for future reference maybe I'll just stick with a good old fashion map.

The Best is yet to come

I don't know why I was so blessed, but I landed a terrific job! it is a 9-5 no weekends, no holidays , no nights. It is just what I needed, just what the family needed. The only thing that I feel a little guilty about is that there isn't any wounds or anything really hard to do. I don't know why I am feeling guilty about having an easy job. Who cares it pays good! I know this will be good for everyone and the best is yet to come.

It is over!!!!!!!

It has been almost a month since my last post. It was so hectic that if I had to think to breath I would be dead. I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel until the day of graduation and there it was radiating in all its brilliance before me. There I was among 36 other students, all in white, heart beating just as hard, to receive my diploma. A piece of paper with few words that really means so much more than graduation. The paper says through the tears, sleepless nights, bitching and complaining, the butt wiping, ass kissing, bull shit...you survived!!
Now a new chapter begins. Time to test what I learned and go to work. I am excited and scared because there is not a teacher there or another student to run to to ask. I am on my own. I can do it, but it still puts butterflies in my tummy thinking about it.

Here I am

The light at the end of the tunnel isn't looking any brighter, maybe because I feel like I am walking around with my eyes closed! The end is going to be a close call between pass/fail. As long as it ends... It is starting to storm here so I must go.

Mental Health Issue

There is never an easy soulution to the Mental Health Issue but something has to be done. On top of the school shootings, there has been bomb threats at the High School in our school dist. It makes me nervous because my kids will be going there next year.

As I write I have a very dear friend who sits in the Hosp. with a punctured lung and many other injuries from her husband beating her. He has had a mental health issue for spmetime but he went over the edge the other night. They have five kids toghther and he beat her in front of them. This couldn't have been good for any of them. I don't know how she is I have to call her mom to find out.

I get worn out just thinking of all of this. I don't understand. I know it is hard to get help but come on when you feel yourself gettint to a certain point you HAVE to get help. Would someone rather hurt people than get help? I just don't understand.

PETS

I have had some funny pets over the years. One time I had a pot belly pig that liked to sleep in my dirty clothing. I had two ferrets that liked to play tag with the cat, a cat that was male that thought he was a mother cat and tried to breast feed kittens. Currently there is my first and only dog, he thinks he is a real boy. The other day my husband and I were laying in bed and the dog jumped up and was staring at us. Pretty soon my youngest daughter climbs up and goes to lay next to me. Well, the dog wasn't going to stand for that so he shoved her out of the way and laid down as close as he could to me! He's a great boy and funny as all get out!

Light at the End of the Tunnel

So here I am sitting in the tunnel that has been so dark for what seems like forever and atlast I can see the light. There it is 12 weeks off. IT is a small dim light right now but as each day passes it will be bigger and brighter. Again, I will have come out on top of a hard and tireing trip, but it will be well worth it. Thank you for those who knew I could make it, even when I wasn't so sure. Thank you to those who stood by me when I wasn't the nicest person to be near. Thank you to those who prayed for me, and Thank you God for answering the prayers.

The bad is good.

It is nice to see that all the things that I have gone through and my kids have gone through, gives others hope, because we have walked away without too many scars. I find more and more people who are sitting in the same boat that I was in and they know the struggles that I have endured. They say to me if you can make it than so can I. Some tell their kids to go ask my kids the things that their dad ( jerk off) has done to them because that childs dad is doing the same. Somehow, just by letting people know that I have gone through real bad stuff and come out on top I have helped them. Stranged, I always thought helping was physically doing something for someone and now I am learning that sometimes giving someone hope is all they need. Happy Spring!!!

My cup

I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now.But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhowAnd as I go along life's way,I'm reaping better than I sowed.I'm drinking from my saucer,'Cause my cup has overflowed. Haven't got a lot of riches,and sometimes the going's tough.But I've got loving ones all around me,and that makes me rich enough. I thank God for his blessings,and the mercies He's bestowed.I'm drinking from my saucer,'Cause my cup has overflowed.I remember times when things went wrong,My faith wore somewhat thin.But all at once the dark clouds broke,and the sun peeped through again.
So Lord, help me not to gripe,about the tough rows I have hoed.I'm drinking from my saucer,'Cause my cup has overflowed.If God gives me strength and courage,When the way grows steep and rough.I'll not ask for other blessings,I'm already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,to help others bear their loads.Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Falling Deeper...

I have fallen so deep right now that I can almost see the bottom. Thats not good because the light is at the top. JKF obviously wasn't attending nurseing school when he said "the only thing we have to fear is fear it self". I have a pharm test tomarrow. I think that one I may pass. I have yet another test tomarrow. That one I have a feeling I will fail. I just can't keep all these disorders straight in my head.
The strss is really taking its toll on me. I bleed in between periods, I have Acid reflux and a sore throat because of it, I lost 8 lbs in one month ( which really isn't that bad). I am burning out and I have 3 little months to go. I keep telling myself this but it only makes me sicker. Can't I have a test double so I can take tomarrow off and still pass?

Falling down again.

"Fear is that dark room where negatives are developed" - From the Sisterhood of the traveling pants.
So how many times can you pull youself up when you have been knocked down? I don't know but I do know that my friends are picking me back up and pushing me forward. I have a 62% in Pharm and all my very dear friends have all told me they are going to take turns helping me study for the next 3 tests. That is all we have left is 3 tests then the final. I am so very glad that they are here for me. I may have just not shown up come Monday because honestly I am sick of the fight. I would have just thrown in the towel and said I tried. These guys won't let me do that though. I wish I could have my mommy here so I could cry on her shoulder. Sometimes I wish i was still little and the magic of mommy makes everything better. I wonder when the magic of mommy stoped working. There doesn't seem to be anything I can point out that says yes that is the day it stopped working. It's sad I am almost 30 (shhhh) and I still want the magic of my mommy. Hopefully the magic I carry for my kids will never wear off. Yeah, right.

On the other hand....

On the other hand...you have 5 different fingers.
The weather is finally warming up. It will be bareable (?) to go outside again. YIIIPPPEEEE! I can once again walk away the stress when I am on break at school.
My husband will be off for 5 more weeks of work. They still don't know if they will be doing surgery or not. I don't know much about my husband job but, couldn't skids be moved with only 9 fingers and a dolly? I am nervous about the money. He didn't go back on workman's comp., he is on Short term disability insurance. I know nothing about it! As I grow older I hate the unknown. At this rate I am going to be one of those old ladies stuck in the past, with her old furniture and her old ways. Oh, my. Don't have time to worry about money or is it I don't have time to worry about school. I don't have time to worry at all!!

Oh the weather

I can't beleive how long the kids have not had school because of the Snow, ice and cold. They have been off or delayed all this week. On the other hand even in the worst of it my school was not cancelled or delayed. This has really got me fired up. I called off yesterday because there was atleast an inch of ice on my road alone, then this morning I can't get the doors open on any of the cars in my driveway. The school is going to try to charge me $50 to make up yesterday and I say kiss my butt. If I had of went and got into an accident and tried to sue the school, they would tell me that it was my choice to go. I am loosing heart on this school. I don't have the drive I used to to get my education because you have to fight every step of the way. If I were to give up now I don't think I'd go back because I was so frusterated. I don't know. Atleast the weather will ease up next week.

Fast forward and slow Motion

Is it possible to have gone or begoing fast forward and be in slow motion all at the same time. Let's take slow motion first. Between this deep freeze and school I feel stuck. I feel that one day is the same as the next except that I get up at different times. I have 3 months of school left, it feels like forever....
Let's go to the fast forward part. Wasn't it just yesterday my oldest was in kidergarden and got introuble on the bus for kissing a boy. Now she is almost 12 and she went on her first real date with a boy ( her boyfriend). They went to the movies. My husband and I had this big debate whether or not one of us should go to the movies with them. I said yes and he said no ( if you can beleive that). Weel, turns out the boys mother was going to go with them and she sat right next to them. Atleast I was going to sit a few rows back. This made my husband laugh but it set my mind at ease. So there it is Fast Forwar and Slow Motion at the same time.

Love Thine Enemy?

Love Thine Enemy, or maybe it is more Keep your friends close and your enemies closer , or could it be Greed is one of the seven deadly sins? I am not really sure. I have debated for days about this. About whether to post this or not and why I did this. Ok, so here it is.
The other day when I dropped my son off jerk off "needed" to speak with me. SO I took a few mins. to let him plead his case with me. And plead he did. About how broke he is because of the child support and his old college taking money out of his check ect. I told him, without anger, without hatered, that he never cared when I was in that situation. So blah,blah, blah he says and then I just said that when I get a job after graduation I would make sure that the child support was reduced. Well, the court will make sure, my lawyer already told me they would. I can't reamin angry though. I'm not even going to try to fight it when the time comes. I can only take so much stress in my life and I am reaching my breaking point. If a reduction in child support in 5 months will get him off my back then fine. I just want to be left alone!!!! Life is hard enough wirhout adding him into the mix. I know I should have thought about that before. I just thought we would live happily ever after.

BE CAREFUL

I know that there are many people out there that are allergic to asprin. Also we all know not to give it to children under 16, so the following list of over the counter drugs that contain asprin may surpise you.

• Alka-Seltzer
• Pamprin
• Pepto-Bismol ( although they now sell asprin free knds also. Check the label)
• Sine-Off
• Kaopectate

Also remember that cold meds., unless otherwise labeled, contain pain releiver so there is no need to give or take one with it. Otherwise you may overdose or overdose your child. Non-asprin pain relief is not completly safe. Over dose can cause kidney failure. Just thought everyone would like to know.

Dreaming at night

In the back of my mind I must be afraid of going backward in life. I often have dreams or nightmares, of living in a really bad area. The other day I dreamt that I was living in this bad area and I couldn't find out how to get the kids to school. Once I figured it out and took them, they never came home. A gang had kidnapped them and they wanted $16,000. The apartment it self was nice, but outside it was so dark. I had to walk up the street to a bar where one of the gang memebers worked ( can you imagine they had real jobs) to give him some money. There were people in the shadows but no one said anything to me. When I got back home I was in a panick. Even though I lived on the 2nd floor I just knew someone was going to break into my house. I remember putting this gel that would burn your hands if touched, around the window ledges and on the bottom of the window. I don't really remember the rest.
Maybe the fact that we have another car payment is bothering me. I don't really know. I do know that I will never allow my self or my kids to live in a bad neighborhood again. I hate the fact that my son goes to jerk offs ,who lives in a bad neighborhood. Unfourtunatly, I have no control over that.

No title

My husband bought a 2005 Mustange over the weekend. I gave him the go ahead because he deserves something to show his hard work. Except now, I feel this yerning for a house. I have felt it for a long time but it is getting stronger and stronger and I just may burst!! No, not burst but just get something that I sort of like just to say hey I have one!! I know I have to wait til I graduate before I get a house so we will have a nice combine income but I DON'T WANT TO WAIT! Sounds childish I know. I'm almost 30 wasn't I suppose to have a house by now? Ok I really should be concentrateing on school and stay focused so I can get my license, to get a job, to buy a house. I guess that just gives me more gumption to pass, huh. I'll still be over 30 by the time I get one though. A nice big yard, plenty of room, yep that is what I want. Brick or stone would be nice. I must go my oldest has homework and then dance class.

Who ordered this weather?

For the first time this winter it is snowing hard, big flakes! IT is pretty but I was being spoiled with nice warm weather! I know it needs to snow in the winter so there is enough water but, ...
I think that the Farmer's Almanac is interesting and from what I hear, does a pretty good job at predicting the weather. I have never read it, but my uncle who was a farmer use to.
For as tired as I have been this week, I have been doing really well inschool! My grades have really come up!! Maybe it is because I have relaxed and said to my self that a C was OK. I psych myself out sometimes. Well, half of the kids are sick so I will be staying in tonight hopeing I don't get sick. Have a good weekend.

Freud and friends

Lets talk about an intersting subject....Freud. Some in my class call him a pervert because all his childhood therioes relate back to sex. Prevert?, Not sure about that. However, he does seem to have this preoccupation with sex and if you know more about his teachings he has a big mother issue also. Back to his chidhood stages he has a stage called Anality which is where kids have a preoccupation with holding on to things ( mainly their poop). This is where we get the people are anal thing from. So what about the other guys who have stages of children theories, none of theirs relates to sex. Erikson has trust vs. Mistrust, which I think that man is straight on with that one. If you don't pick up a crying infant then they develope mistrust. As we get into the school age years I think that is where all of them have some sort of idea but none have nailed it on the head. Or it could be that times have changed so much. For instance my 7 year old is much more interested in clothing and talking on the phone. This is suppose to be saved of the later years. So for you who have children what do you think? Do you have any theories of your own?

Stepping Up

I have finally learned to just except the C's that I am getting and move along. Why stress over a C when there are bigger fish to fry. I have a test every day this coming week and Iv certification. OOOOH, the pressure and that is why I won't let a C bother me. I found the sort of jobs that I want to do and I just can't wait to get my license. I am more excited then a teen getting their driver's license. Only 5 months to go!! I don't care what Ms. werido strange teacher has to say about my clinical assignments because everyone else gave me a positive reveiw. So there. I am not going to worry about things that really don't need be worried about. Atleast I'll try!

Messy, messy

You know when people say their house is such a mess and then you go in and it looks spotless to you? Well, that is not the case here today. OMG, the little girls' room is a night mare. For a small room it is going to take me all after noon to clean it. They have been working on it all week and have gotten, well, no where. Time for Mom to step in. They are going to be left with 7 shirts a peice and if they can take care of those, only then can they earn some back. I'm getting pretty good at this typing. Too bad it took me 10years to get this good!!

Depression, Frustration, ect.

Would it be uncouragous ( is that a word?) if I were to quit nursing school now? I feel as though I am falling flat on my face. I studied very hard for the past two tests and got a C. How did that happen. Well, of coarse the one was the tricky teachers test. Sorry teachers, but, there are some out there that just shouldn't be one ( as with any career ). The retake for last semesters finale is next week and frankly I am scared. I really would like to quit right now. Then again, I would kick my self if I did. How much can one person take though?
" Can you help me I'm bent? I'm so scared that I'll never get put back together."
What am I doing wrong? I really try to be positive. Wish the school was a little more positive. Well, I guess I'll keep trying.

First Day Back

The first day back to school also means the start of a new semester. This means that those who did not get a 70% or above in their classes are gone. AHHH, but there is a catch ( isn't there always?). You had to come to school this morning and go half way through the morning before you found out if you were to stay or go. Then people who were being told to get their stuff and leave weren't even told by the director, they were told by someone that she appointed.
Right before I left the director called me in to tell me that I needed to retake the pharm final. I failed it which brought my grade from an 87% to a 73%. I made sure I told her that I didn't think that the pharm final was fair. The instructor told us that she was tking 50 questions from a practice test that she had given us and then she didn't. She made this test up from somewhere out of the blue. There was stuff on there that we won't be tested on until this week!! Oh, there is more, but you get the point. So the director is looking into it. I'm sure that I along with a bunch of others will still have to retake the test. Let's just hope that it is fair this time. My horoscope said that I would have to prove myself to others. Maybe that is what it meant.
On a funnier subject I am reassuring my dog that everything is fine right now because my husband is playing the drums and my dog isn't sure what he should do!! It is the funniest site.