You wear me out!

I have a good theme song for what is going on in my life right now. I believe it is by My Chemical Romance and part of the song goes I'm not ooook, I'm not ooookkkk you wear me out!
That is how I feel about what jerk off is doing to me right now. Everytime I agree on something he wants more and more. Oh, he'll drop wanting 50% custody if I will agree on a child support amount with him. Gee, does someone only want 50% custody so that he doesn't get screwed in child support? He has just dug himself a nice hole. I would be willing to give him anything that he wanted if he was a GOOD DAD, not even a great dad, but no. This is how he wants to play then fine. I am so sick of the court and tired of trying to find the money to pay the lawyer but I don't care. My kids and their best interest come A NUMBER ONE! I tried to work with him, honest and truly. My husband and I have agreed that no matter what happens we will never put the kids through what I am going through right now. We will sit down like adults and do what is right for everyone. My husband is a great dad and I would give him 50% custody in a heart beat even if I hated him. Everyone sees that he does what is in the best interest for all his kids. Well, thanks for listening to my problems. I am off to other things now.

Whirlwind

I am in a whirl wind and cannot stop it. Everything always happens at once. Why can't life just go a few months without 100 major problems going on? Last night I was ready to not go to school to just go to work and deal with this court mess. Then I thought that this maybe may only chance with out having to pay thousands in daycare. Then I would have ruined God's reason for my husband having to take so much time off of work. What could possibly be the reason for the rest of this stress? I can't take much more. My sanity is running low...HELP!!

A Strange Family

Ok I have always known that my hubby's family was an odd bunch but, this has to take the cake. My husband's Grandmother died last Nov. And noone told him until now. His mother mentioned that she went to put flowers on her mother's grave on Mother's Day and my husband goes who's grave and that is when his mom told him! This just tops all! Now she didn't invite or even tell him when she got married a 2nd time. Ok that I can kind of see, she didn't come to our wedding. Ok we were in another state, but this there is no excuse for. What could she possibly say to him as a reason why noone told him? Parton the pun but, that was the last nail in the coffin of their already rocky relationship. I know she has lost all my respect.

Another Blog

I was cruiseing through blogs the other day and wow I didn't relize how many depressed people there were out in the world. Most are on the brink, at the end of their rope. I wish I had of known that there was so many out there when I was younger then I wouldn't have suffered a lone. As long as I know now though, I guess it makes it all good. My mother taught me hind sight is 20/20.
Nursing schools starts back up here soon. I am so excited! My friend is entering a different school for Nursing and they are taking into account her high school record. Now she has been out of school for 20 years. I think that is so silly since she has a great college record that is recent. She told the application lady that she is a diffrent person now then she was in high school ( aren't we all?). Oh the stuff that soceity finds to keep people down. Anyhow we will find out how things went before the fall term. I have a lot of cleaning to get done because when I was getting things out of the file cabinet for my lawyer I just left the other stuff out and about. I am such a pack rat. However, I am learning what should be kept and what can be thrown.
P.S Whoever made the polly pockets doesn't have little kids that can't put on the rubber clothing. I think they are the hardest toy to dress!

How AM I?

How am I ? Now there is an interesting question.
I am not sure how I am. I guess I am waiting... the sencond shoe has finally dropped when I comes to my X. So now all there is left to do is wait. I am being accused of violating everything in our orginal custody agreement and being taken to court for about $3000 by him. My lawyer has said not to panick. So here I am sitting and waiting. I keep saying the prayer from my last post because there is no point in worrying about things that I have no control over. The past keeps coming back to bite me in the butt. I really thought my X has moved on since he is suppose to be getting married this summer, but it seems that he wants revenge ( via the court) for every wrong he thinks I commited. Oh, well. Anyhow, I really can't say how I am...

Prayer

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference

This is a prayer my mom taught me. I say it over and over and over.

My Mom

Mother's Day is around the corner and I thought that I would type some about my mom.

I know my mom thinks that she has failed me and I haven't done much to discourage that feeling. The truth is that my mom actually did me wonders. She taught me to stand up for your children and follow your maternal instincts. She taught me to depend on myself and that no matter what you have to keep trucking. She taught me to trust God, and that he never gives us more than we can handel. There is no shame in asking for help if you need it.
Everytime I start to blog some one needs something. I'll have to finish this later.