Falling down again.

"Fear is that dark room where negatives are developed" - From the Sisterhood of the traveling pants.
So how many times can you pull youself up when you have been knocked down? I don't know but I do know that my friends are picking me back up and pushing me forward. I have a 62% in Pharm and all my very dear friends have all told me they are going to take turns helping me study for the next 3 tests. That is all we have left is 3 tests then the final. I am so very glad that they are here for me. I may have just not shown up come Monday because honestly I am sick of the fight. I would have just thrown in the towel and said I tried. These guys won't let me do that though. I wish I could have my mommy here so I could cry on her shoulder. Sometimes I wish i was still little and the magic of mommy makes everything better. I wonder when the magic of mommy stoped working. There doesn't seem to be anything I can point out that says yes that is the day it stopped working. It's sad I am almost 30 (shhhh) and I still want the magic of my mommy. Hopefully the magic I carry for my kids will never wear off. Yeah, right.

On the other hand....

On the other hand...you have 5 different fingers.
The weather is finally warming up. It will be bareable (?) to go outside again. YIIIPPPEEEE! I can once again walk away the stress when I am on break at school.
My husband will be off for 5 more weeks of work. They still don't know if they will be doing surgery or not. I don't know much about my husband job but, couldn't skids be moved with only 9 fingers and a dolly? I am nervous about the money. He didn't go back on workman's comp., he is on Short term disability insurance. I know nothing about it! As I grow older I hate the unknown. At this rate I am going to be one of those old ladies stuck in the past, with her old furniture and her old ways. Oh, my. Don't have time to worry about money or is it I don't have time to worry about school. I don't have time to worry at all!!

Oh the weather

I can't beleive how long the kids have not had school because of the Snow, ice and cold. They have been off or delayed all this week. On the other hand even in the worst of it my school was not cancelled or delayed. This has really got me fired up. I called off yesterday because there was atleast an inch of ice on my road alone, then this morning I can't get the doors open on any of the cars in my driveway. The school is going to try to charge me $50 to make up yesterday and I say kiss my butt. If I had of went and got into an accident and tried to sue the school, they would tell me that it was my choice to go. I am loosing heart on this school. I don't have the drive I used to to get my education because you have to fight every step of the way. If I were to give up now I don't think I'd go back because I was so frusterated. I don't know. Atleast the weather will ease up next week.

Fast forward and slow Motion

Is it possible to have gone or begoing fast forward and be in slow motion all at the same time. Let's take slow motion first. Between this deep freeze and school I feel stuck. I feel that one day is the same as the next except that I get up at different times. I have 3 months of school left, it feels like forever....
Let's go to the fast forward part. Wasn't it just yesterday my oldest was in kidergarden and got introuble on the bus for kissing a boy. Now she is almost 12 and she went on her first real date with a boy ( her boyfriend). They went to the movies. My husband and I had this big debate whether or not one of us should go to the movies with them. I said yes and he said no ( if you can beleive that). Weel, turns out the boys mother was going to go with them and she sat right next to them. Atleast I was going to sit a few rows back. This made my husband laugh but it set my mind at ease. So there it is Fast Forwar and Slow Motion at the same time.

Love Thine Enemy?

Love Thine Enemy, or maybe it is more Keep your friends close and your enemies closer , or could it be Greed is one of the seven deadly sins? I am not really sure. I have debated for days about this. About whether to post this or not and why I did this. Ok, so here it is.
The other day when I dropped my son off jerk off "needed" to speak with me. SO I took a few mins. to let him plead his case with me. And plead he did. About how broke he is because of the child support and his old college taking money out of his check ect. I told him, without anger, without hatered, that he never cared when I was in that situation. So blah,blah, blah he says and then I just said that when I get a job after graduation I would make sure that the child support was reduced. Well, the court will make sure, my lawyer already told me they would. I can't reamin angry though. I'm not even going to try to fight it when the time comes. I can only take so much stress in my life and I am reaching my breaking point. If a reduction in child support in 5 months will get him off my back then fine. I just want to be left alone!!!! Life is hard enough wirhout adding him into the mix. I know I should have thought about that before. I just thought we would live happily ever after.