What surpised me most about being a mom

The thing that has surpised me the most about being a mom is how many ways your heart can break and how many little ways it can quickly be healed.
What has surpised you the most about being a parent?

I am still batteling

My advice to all women every where be careful with whom you have children with.
Mothers show this to your daughters, let them know what a struggle it is to get what is your childs best interst when there is a person that only wants to work against you. The pain in your childs face when the father lets your child down, the long court battles to get him to do what is right. The pain the whole family goes through every time he acts like an idiot and tries to force your child to go to his house when he/she doesn't want to. Hind sight is 20/20 but you can never go back and fix the mistakes and the broken hearts. The only thing you can do is plung forward and hope for the best. No matter how much in love you think you are, or think that you are going to spend the rest of your life toghther, WAIT. Just WAIT. I cannot save my child from heart break, but maybe you can save your future children from it.

Last Post before Easter

This will be the last post before Easter because I have so much to do.
Everytime I have gone to check my e-mail these past few days, my stomach starts to do flips. Not good flips either. I don't want to get a call or email from my x and my stomach aches everytime I think about having to deal with him. I never know what to expect when it comes to him. Thinking about us going back to court makes me want to go throw up. I know I will be sick for weeks once I get my court date. My daughters birthday is on Fri and I know he won't call her (again). He has never called her or sent her anything for her birthday. I know that this will lead to another week of tears. Then I turn around and feel bad for ever having kids with him. I would have missed the dance if I knew that I could spare my daughter years of pain.

Pop corn balls

I just finished making popcorn balls. My cousins grandma used to make them every Halloween. I didn't know how messy they really were. I appericate those popcrn balls alot more now ans believe me I loved them back then! I made them today for my oldest daughter to take to school for her birthday treat. We are going to have 4 of her friends spend the night Thurs-Fri. After that we will head to my grandma's house on Saturday for Easter. I don't know how long we will stay but, the kids are bringing all their baseball stuff and plenty of other things to do. It should be a good time. Have a Happy Easter.

A little of this little of that

The wheels are now well oiled for the oldest daughter's dyslexia testing. We have an appointment set for her, the money has been set a side. I feel a big relief that we will know soon if something is wrong with her and what it is. I almost hope that there is something wrong because I have tried everything that I can think of. Is that bad?
How come my side bar won't show up on my computer but will on others?

Up date

I downloaded the Thomas Kincade pics. from his web site. ( I think that is where I got them ).
The wheels are in slow motion to go back to court. As i am reading the law I have a feeling that this is going to be a long fight. You would think that with all the bull shit he has put my daughter through that it would be an open and shut case. I have a feeling that he is going to try to blame her not going on me. Then he will either try to get me for contempt of court or try to take the kids. It is going to be a tougher battle to get her last name changed. I have the truth on myside so I am counting on the truth to win it for us.
I also called the nursing school to make sure that there was still space for me because it is taking so long to get my shots. They told me not to worry they have my spot saved! oh, good that takes a lot off my mind.
There is grest medical news out there also. Scientist have grown organs that work from one's own stem cells!! That means so much for so many!!!

I really like these

The only therapy I can afford

This is the only therapy I can afford right now, thank goodness it is free.
My X called the police this morning because my daughter didn't want to go to his house. All he would have had to do is apologize to her for being such an incosiderate, selfish person. Then she would have forgiven him and went. No instead he had to try to be a bully. Well, it did not work. She told the officer that she didn't want to go because he treated her poorly. He asked if her mom or step-dad was stopping her from going , she said no and that was the end of it. At least for today. I am sure that I haven't heard the last of him on this matter. There is so much going on in my life, his shit was the last that I needed to deal with.

Long time, No blog

I finally have a few mins. to myself, so I thought I would blog. So much has been happening that I don't know if I can even keep up with it. I jsut go through my days getting done what I can and planning on when I can get the stuff that I wasn't able to get done, done. My X is being his useual jerkish self so my daughter is refuseing to go to his house until "he can care for me like he should." These are her words. She feels like she is invisable when she is over there. Also she is really mad because when she hurt her ankel he Never called her. Not even after she chewed him out for not calling her. I don't encourage her either way. The only thing I say is for her to do what makes her happy. I learned the hard way that your happiness depends on the choices you make, including the the choice of who you are with. I don't want her to learn these lessons too late.

A pitcure like this reminds me of when I was a kid. My cousins and I would walk through the woods and explore. Sometimes we would come to an opening and it was always a mystery what we would find in it. Those were the days of pure innocence and peace.

I was at the doctor's office the other day looking at the BMI index chart. I for got to ask him to explain it to me. Can anyone help me out? I know being a soon to be nurse I should know, but I don't.

I am so glad that spring is fianlly here. although the weather is still cold, the promise of it getting warmer just makes me feel relieved. I had a nice spring pic. but i am having trouble getting it loaded. Is there a way that anyone can send me some nice spring picture Via- the computer?

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I had to scream to get it out of my system.
On top of everything, my daughter sprained her ankle badly in school today. We took her for x-rays and she is now on crutches with an air cast. I called work and had them replace me because who knew how long we maybe. This is the second time this week I haven't worked. I didn't go last time because I had to attend a funeral. I should have seen the next part coming because for some reason people in my family die in threes. My other uncle on the other side of the family is about ready to go to the pearly gates and I have another uncle that could or could not go soon too. The last time someone(s) went it was my grandfather and then two aunts. I am enjoying everything as much as possible. I have my husband home with me because he got hurt at work. He is helping me as much as he can and then there is my best friend who is very encouraging. I really do have a good support system when I take the time to look around me. That is more than some have.

the spin quickens

I have made a interview appointment with a doctore that specializes in learning disablities. This way I can find out just what is the matter with my daughter. More and more things are being added to my calander. My husband was hurt at work so now he will have a slew of appointments. My Uncle has passed so we are driving 4 hours so we may attend his furnel. I can't wait til my stuff for school has been taken care of, this will take a lot off my calender and my mind. Some days I feel that I could just fall over. My face has broken out real bad. Poor, poor me. I know there is so much worse things that people deal with. I just need to vent to get it off my chest.

I couldn't help myself

I was at work yesterday reading an article in our local news paper in a section I don't normally read. The article was called Sharing compassion and was about the author who sponsored a child overseas and got to meet this child. I was so very moved by the article that I went to the website to sponsor a child myself. I thought that this could be something that my oldest daughter and I could do together since the child I choose is her age. I think that this will help my daughter grow as a person as well as help this other child. For $24 a month we can do this. I chose a child in Ethiopia because I know more about the starving children there. Don't get me wrong I bring the homeless in my own city food when I can and help others plenty. This however, I can't explain. Usually I am all "help the people in your own country first..." But something drew me to do this. I can't even think what it maybe had me do this.
I filed papers yesterday to receive more child support for my own kids. It isn't that they don't have a lot. It is the fact that everytime I ask for money we fight. This way I no longer have to ask.

Pouring my heart out

10 Years ago I thought that I was going to marry the father of my child and we were going to live happily ever after. I could not have been more wrong. After 4 1/2 years of misery (1 1/2 years were great the other 4 were bad) I left for the last time. It has been a a constant battle between us ever since. We thought we couldn't agree on anything before, ha that was nothing compared to now! Every little move I make with the kids is a battle. "If I had of known then.... Why won't he just fall off the face of the Earth?

I have to get it out

I just need to blow off some steam about a few things.
First off my daughter is still failing Math and she hasn't even gotten a test date for her learning disablities. The year will be coming to an end before we know it and then what? My husband and I may have to attend the next school board meeting. I have never attended one of those before. The test is suppose to be given in a timely matter. Well, what is exactly a timely matter. My oldest is so sad about her grades and is very afraid that she will be held back. I had a disscusion board site saved about this and now I can't find it. OOOOOH, the frustration and red tape.

Warm Day

Another warm enjoyable day. Although again this weekend it is suppose to be cold. When will it stay warm? I want warm weather!!
I have so many trips to the doctors this month that we should all know each other on a first name basis by the time we are done. I have to get 2 TB tests, Tetnis, MMR booster, Blood work. Then my kids each need a physical for daycare. Oh, I also need an eye exam (isn't my driver's license enough?). Then after all that is done I need to get a criminal history and child abuse clearnence on my self and send that in. Not that I have a record but they need to have proof.
Baseball starts for my 6 year old daughter next week or atleast practice does. I don't think I have enough to do. Does anyone need me to do any running around or Doctor visits for them too?

When you have to go, you have to go. I am surprised we haven't see a kid on one of those kids leashes out side the port-o- potty.

I have been much busier than usual. On Saturday we traded in our run down van for a much nicer one. Ofcoarse we had to put more money down on this but it is well worth it. I also had orientation for school, which I am so excited about. I have to go get my physical today and then each of my kids need one for daycare. I just can't believe how much daycare is going to cost for 8 weeks. I don't know how normal people afford it. I have much more to write but, my doctor's appointment is in one hour and I still need to shower.

100th Post

This is my 100th post. Horray for me!!
I have come to relize that I have a junk collecting problem. I collect a bunch of non-related items and think of uses for them if I can find other items to go with them. Then I don't find anything that goes with it and it just sits here collecting dust. If it wasn't for my husband I would have a house full of useless things. Instead I just have useless things in a few places. I also feel the urge to buy extra dressers, clothing that no one will wear (yet), and books. Oh yeah, toys too ( indoor and out door). Maybe I think that if it looks like we have a lot then we really will have a lot. Maybe I am trying to make up for all that I didn't have. I don't know. I can see however, how this could become a problem. If I could I would have a lot of animals. There was a time when I had 5 cats. I got rid of all but 1 after a while. But it is a good thing my husband has put a limit on things like that or my house would over flow.

No title

I am realy having trouble with this stupid computer lately. It has been too slow to do anything since my husband down loaded this new DVD program.
I am so very busy this coming week. My schdeule is full Tuesday. My husband is off work for a doctor's appointment and I am watching my best friend's kids for a bit. I also have to work and I wanted to go get my hair cut shorter. On Wend. I go and find out more about my nursing school! I am so excited about that. I had forgotten how expensive day care was. For a months worth of daycare for my 4 children it is over 2,000 American dollars.Atleast it is only for one month, then they ALL go to scholl! It is about time they all went. I have been looking forward to that day for a very long time.