My patient

My patient passed away on Friday morning. I wasn't there but I had been there less than 12 hours before. I was meant to be there that day, I am now sure of it. It was my daughters birthday on thurs. and I had asked them to find somelse so I could be with my kids. No one else could be found to take my spot so I went in all jacked off. I didn't let my patient know or see how upset I was. I held his hand often, he likes to know that a friend is there. I talked to him about going home the next day and how nice it would be to see him at his house and not the hospital. I showed a new nurse to the case what to do and I left, to finally go play with the kids and have cupcakes. Then the next morning he was gone. I was suppose to be there the day before just to say goodbye I think. I am now glad I was and sorry that I was so upset about being there. Next time I have to work when I don't want to I will have to remember that I have a higher purpose for being there, not just to work. It could be someone's last day, who knows.