Just Yesterday

Wasn't just yesterday that my parents were getting us kids ready to go to my choir concert? It sure does seem that way. Tonight we are getting ready to go to my oldest daughters concert and for a change we are ahead of schedule. It was always cold and icy for my Christmas concerts, tonight it is just wet and muddy. My grandma always tried her best to come unless the weather was bad. That is one thing my kids miss out on is their grandparents coming. Not my parents fault, they try to make it when they have off and the weather is good. However, their one grandfather lives here and never goes to anything they have. Their other grandma has disconnected herself from the family so she is always a no show. I feel bad because we live far enough a way from my parents that they can't always make it. Well, no use in dwelling on it. I am going to record the concert for them instead.

No real title

I'm glad my life is less hectic than my friends life is. She could truely have her own soap opera and have plenty of material. I'm telling you she could be rich, just by being her.
I'm really happy with the way my life turned out. My life used to be just as dramatic, everyday was a struggle to survive. When you are just living to survive then that is what you base all of your desicions on. Those desecions usally aren't the best, but it is all you can do at the time. I really feel for those trying to find their way. I guess that is why I helped create SuperMom. I know first hand that when you are sick/ on bed rest and have little kids with no one to help life really gets you down. I just want to give people resources to help them, help themselves. Getting well quickly will help epople do this faster and give them confidence that life doesn't suck so bad. Still working out the smaller details but in a few months we should be up and running!
I'm just concentrating hard on my next nursing job, I really have the jitters over this. TTFN.








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NERVOUS

When I graduated Nursing School I was terrified to work in a Nursing Home or a Hospital. There are so many people that you have to pass meds. too, you have to be on top of your game at all times. I am not always at top game and I am scared of loosing my license, that I just got.
Now I am taking the leap. I am going to work for agency so I will work in many different Nursing Homes ( it pays better and you get to pick your own hours). I know I am going to have to take it slow but , god, please don't let state come in until I get my bearings. PLEASE!!! I might just pass out if they do, out of shear terror! Wish me the best.

No answers

I don't have the answers for today
I couldn't tell what the passing night will bring
Not sure what will come with the rise of the sun
Or the fall of the snow
I do know that I am here...
My ears open ,
my heart ready,
When you are...
I'll be here.

Another Long Day

I accompanied a friend to the court house today and held her hand. I sat there all day with her and held my breath with her when the judge ruled. Things went pretty well for her legally, but emotionally she is wreck. I feel for her, there is not an easy answer. The man in her life won't help himself, which would make every one's life involved easier. No he would rather just keep telling her that she is the crazy one. Boy, that tune sounds familiar. Don't you wish you had a magic wand to help other peoples pain go away?
Back at the Homestead, you can tell my one child is almost a teenager, because she sure is starting to act like one. She thinks that I am telling on her when I inform her dad about her breaking the rules. I think I felt the same way as a kid. Wasn't good enough that one parent knew? I guess that it is our job to communicate with each other about what our kids are up to, especially since we live in the same house.

I quit

I quit my job. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I pretty much had to. So now I am quickly looking for a new one. In the time I am looking I will focus on my SuperMom business. Hopefully we can get the ball rolling soon. There is still much to do.
It is another busy wed. Basketball,swimteam,Dr's appt. all tonight. Luckily, my son has a ride to swim practice. Thank goodness for other kind parents. Oh, snap, I think it is my turn to take them, maybe I can pick them up instead.
I'm pretty down, I'd like to crawl in a hole. I guess that is one good thing about having a busy life, you don't have time to hide. Infact, I am thankful ( most of the time ) for being so busy. I don't have time to let things eat at me. Although, on the down side, I have less time to solve things also. Guess I'll have plenty of time for a while.

ITs SUNDAY

I look forward to sundays, most of the time. It is my lounge, sleep as late as you want day. Lately on Sat. we have been getting up super early for the kids' sports. But, Sunday's are my lazy day.

I have been thinking back on St. Thomas and some about California. I reaaly liked the weather and scenery in St. THomas and I really liked the weather in California, but here it is pretty and there is a lot to do. In California everything seemed to be the color of sand, and in St.Thomas there was limited amount of things to do. No I think I will live here and just visit those places, in my mind and sometimes in person.

A little more on St. Thomas

The water was so clear that anywhere you went you could see the bottom and all the fish swimming by. The only big shock was how salty the water tasted when I got some in my mouth. At night I watched a sand crab dig its way out and run across the cooling sand. All your worries just dissapear here.

St. Thomas Pics. III

The top pic. is one of the HUGE cruise liners that stopped in St. Thomas.

More St. Thomas

The swim meet

I know I promised pics. everyday, but the kids have projects to do for school so the computer has been tied up at home.
I thought that I would tell you about the swim meet last Sat.
My son is on the swim team, this is his first year. This was his first swim meet. We drove about 30 miles at 6:30 am to get to this place. Warm ups were at 7:30am and then he sat around and waited for about an hour before he was up. I didn't know that I was suppose to pick his events ahead of time so the coaches picked them for him. He had his worst two events. Freestyle back stroke was first. He was timed the Friday before at 2.40 mins. My son says to me , Mom, what if people make fun of me because I come in last?' I said "Honey, someone has to come in last. I'll Be proud if you try real hard and still come in last." That seemed ok with him. He was up, my knees start knocking, he did real well even though he came in last, he shaved over 1 min. off his time! I was proud. Now we wait about two hours before he is up again. Freestyle front stroke. At the start he enters the water wrong, there go the goggles down around his neck. OOOH, I say to my self there goes the whole race. But, no, not my boy he just keeps going. Although he lost again, he shaved over 25 secs. off his orginal time. I was yelling "keep going Bud, you are going to still beat your time" and by the end of the race everyone in the stands was cheering for him. I almost cried when he finished. He comes up in the bleechers and says "Everyone was cheering for me. Why they don't even know me". I told him that everyone was proud because he kept going even with his goggles off and he beamed. It was a really great day for the two of us.

St. Thomas

Away for a awhile

I will be away for a bit on vaction/delayed honeymoon. I hope to post pics when I come back. See you all soon! Take care.

Depression swept away

My depression ha been sewpt away by all good things that has come my way. We bailed my doggie out of jail with no extra fines. I passed my nursing boards! My husband and I are going on vacation in 2 days!! The kids are doing well and I have pushed the nasty C word to the back of my mind until til my next dr's appt.
When I return I will be as busy as ever but, suddenly that doesn't bother me like it did just days before. suddenly all bad stuff seems so small.
My husband asked me if I wanted to go for my RN now. I told him not any time soon!! I don't want another year of that kind of stress for quite a while. I want everyone to relax, play sports and just have fun being a kid. We all need a break from nursing school. If I don't ever get my RN no big deal. I made it this far and that is good enough for me.

To no one really

My depression has set in full force. I can hardly move today, it has been getting worse by leaps and bounds every day and I have tried to ignore it. Today was just the straw that broke the camels back. This morning it was cold and I didn' t want to go out to hook the dog up. I thought that because it was cold he would come right back in. No, not this morning he took off and it is hard to find a black dog in the dark. I had to leave for my exam earlier than usual so I couldn't spend much time looking for him any way. So the pound picked him up. The only reasaon we know this is because some nice lady called to let us know. She would have had to get a hold of his collar some how,who knows. We didn't get the message until after we got home from work @ 4. The lady who called didn't return our call until 4:30 and then my husband called the pound to let them know we were on our way. By the time he got there, no one was there. So now my poor (bad) dog has to spend the night in doggie jail. I don't know what their hours are but I do know that he has to get out tomarrow. Guess who has to work. Guess who has to take more time out of work to get her dog out of jail. I have taken so much time out of work, if it was anyother job they would have fired me. I know why moms with more than one child stay home. They have to,for more reasons then what I can list on here. I just may take my nursing degree and sit on it. I probely failed the exam anyhow. One step ahead and ten back.

My Mom

My mom and I haven't always seen eye to eye. I have let her down, embarassed her, pissed her off andworried her to peices. I've made her cry and wonder what she did wrong ( i'm sure).
Yet, my mom has always been there for me when the chips were down and she gave me a good shove when I really needed it. My mom tought me to rely on my self and how to be strong. My mom has always been my cheerleader even if she wasn't in sight. I never give my mom enough creidt. She has been a great mom and I love her dearly. I am proud that she is my mom. She is so creative and great with words. She has a good heart but when she is mad at you look out! I miss her even though she is only a call away. I hope that I can be half the person that she is.

Poll closed moving on

My state test is coming up so I will be too busy studying to write. Stay warm everyone!!!

Check it out

Check out my poll below!!!

Too Busy

I am just too busy to keep up on everything. I have been studying for my boards, taking kids to basketball practice, swim practice,school dances and so on. I turned 30, I can say that now without feeling sick. I'm trying to start a new business and still working at my reg. job. Really, I am having a good time. I enjoy staying busy, it keeps my mind from wandering away. In Nov. my husband and I are getting away for a few days. We are going to the Virgin Islands! I am so excited. I have no idea what to expect!! I know we are going to try to go scuba diving. I hope I get over the fact I hate water that is over my head. Don't get me wrong I can swim, I just don't like water over my head. Well, I hope that I can fill everyone in more later. TTFN!

The what if game

Today I am playing the what if game with myself, I know it is a bad game. Sometimes I wish I could peak into the future so I know the consequences of my actions before I do them. I am afraid of what I have done will come back and haunt me in the form of my teenage daughter.
What if I made all the wrong decisions and they don't show up until it is too late. What if she makes all the same misatakes I did. All I can do is hope that I raised her well and the mistakes I made won't be hers too.